一位父亲对孩子的教诲‏——我希望自己在你们这个年纪时了解的10件事。

梦幻絮语

一位父亲对孩子的教诲‏
——我希望自己在你们这个年纪时了解的10件事。

       刚刚看了远方友人10月7日就发来的中英文版《一位父亲对孩子的教诲‏》，真是位极有责任感和富有爱心的父亲，做这位父亲的孩子是有福的，这样的父亲精心培育的孩子，要不成功也难。
      将反差如此之大的两篇文章在同一时间分享，是为了让反面教训和正面经验作出强烈对照，唤醒每一位为人父母者的良知和责任感：如何做一位称职的父母？为了自己家庭的和睦，也为了社会的和谐。

       英国一位父亲对孩子的教诲：这是一位父亲在自己70岁生日来临时，在孩子的博客里写下的自己的经验分享：我希望自己在你们这个年纪时了解的10件事。（10 things I wish I knew when I was your age…) a 70 years old father's advice to his child。

       来听听这位父亲宝贵的10堂人生经验课！

1. Uncertainty is certain.
唯有变化才是不变的。

There is no antidote to uncertainty. Everything is always uncertain. There are infinite possibilities, which is what makes miracles possible. Life is about dealing with the question marks and making the best of them without any guarantees for what’s going to happen next.

对于不确定性，我们无能为力。世界上所有的事情都是不确定的。有着无数个可能性，这才让世界上有了奇迹。生活就是不断地处理这些问题，利用他们，即使你完全不知道接下来会发生些什么。

Nobody on Earth knows how things will turn out for you, which is why you have to press forward every day on the heels of your intuition and passion. If you give it your all, sometimes amazing things happen, but they’ll rarely be precisely what you had expected.

世界上没有人会知道下一秒会发生什么，所以你每天都应该跟随着自己的直觉和激情向前走。如果你倾注全力，好事真的可能会发生，但如你所愿真的很少见。


2. Life is a circle.
生命是一个循环。

Everything you do, everything you say, every choice you make, comes back around.
你做的每一件事，说的每句话以及做的每一个决定都会反馈到你身上。

If you want to be rich, be generous. If you want to make friends, be friendly. If you want to be understood by others, take the time to truly understand them. If you want to be heard, listen.
如果想要富有，那就慷慨点。想交朋友，友好点。想被他人理解，就花点时间去了解别人。想要被倾听，先学会去倾听。

If you want to live an interesting life, be interested the happenings around you. If you wish to truly learn and master a skill, study what you can and then teach someone else what you know.
想生活得有滋有味，就要对周围发生的一切充满兴趣。如果想真正学习和掌握一个技能，就尽可能地学习，并教给别人你所知道的。

If you long for peace, act in peace and harmony. If you want the world to change, start with the one in the mirror.
如果追求和平，那就平静和谐地处事。如果想改变世界，先改变你自己。

What you give is eventually what you get. Whatever it is you hope to achieve in this life, give it, nurture it, be it, and you will enjoy a lifetime filled with it many times over.
你付出多少就会回报多少。无论你想在生活中完成什么，就去付出，培养，坚持，最终你会发现人生充满了回报。


3. Discipline is the mother of all virtues.
自律是所有美德之母。

Self-control is the chief element of discipline, and discipline is the chief element of bringing ideas to life. No matter how smart, skilled, or capable you are, nothing is possible or achievable without a disciplined mind.

自制力是自律的最主要元素，而自律又是能让生活充满灵感的最主要元素。无论你多聪明，多有才多有能力，不自律的你也将会一事无成。

Discipline is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, whether you want to or not at any given moment. It is the most important of all the virtues because without it, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.

自律就是那种逼着自己去做应该做的事的能力，不关乎你的意愿和时间。这是所有美德中最重要的，没有它，你无法长久保持其他的美德。


4. You have full control of your fears.
你能控制自己的恐惧。

Your fear is 100% dependent on YOU for its survival, and it is the only thing standing between you and your goals. Deal with your fears; don’t let them deal with you.
恐惧的产生百分百基于你自己。这是唯一阻挡在你的目标前的东西。战胜你的恐惧，别被它打败。

Have patience with the thoughts and concerns that remain unsolved in your heart. Don’t hide; live in question as you slowly uncover the answers you seek. Replace your fears with an understanding that settles them. Instead of wasting energy on avoiding what you don’t want, spend it on obtaining the knowledge you need to achieve what you do want.

  对那些一直在心中纠结的想法和烦恼有点耐心吧。别逃避，有了问题才会让你慢慢地去寻找答案。去理解这些恐惧。与其浪费精力来逃避这些麻烦，不如花时间来学习那些你想要学到的知识。


5. Good friends are priceless.
好友无价。

Friends and acquaintances come and go, but good friends are hard to come by. You know who these people are. They’re the ones who are always there with you in spirit – the ones who leave footprints in your thoughts and dreams. They are the glue that binds a smile to your soul.

朋友和熟人来来去去，但好朋友可不是随随便便就会出现的。你知道他们是谁。他们一直在精神上与你同在---会对你的想法和梦想产生影响。他们能让你发自内心地微笑。

Hang on to them dearly. Reach out and make an effort to stay connected. Lend them a hand and let them lend one to you. Don’t get so busy or tired that you neglect their existence. Treat your good friends like royalty.

真心的对待她们吧。努力地去和她们保持联系。对她们施以援手，也让他们帮助你。别因为太忙或劳累忽视了他们的存在。对待好友要忠诚。

梦幻絮语

6. It’s impossible to love someone who doesn’t love himself or herself.
不自爱的人也无法爱别人。

When someone doesn’t love who they are, they pretend to be someone else, and others end up falling in love with their mask, instead of who they really are. To keep the affection they keep pretending and performing behind this mask.
不爱自己的人总是伪装成别人，其他人爱上的是这层面具，不是真实的他们。他们需要不断地保持伪装的热情，戴着面具过日子。

If you see these masked tendencies in someone you care about, confront them before it’s too late. Because if they lock themselves behind a mask for too long they will grow attached to it – it will become their comfort zone. They will begin to enjoy theimprisonment, and if you try removing their mask to remind them of the truth, they will feel like you’re robbing them of their dignity.
如果你发现关心的人中出现了这样的倾向，赶紧面对他们。一旦他们把自己锁在面具之下太久，他们就会不愿意出来---这里俨然成为了他们的保护壳。他们会开始享受囚禁的过程，如果你试图去揭开面具带着他们回到现实，他们反而会觉得你伤害了他们的自尊。

Bottom line: Self love is the greatest gift – to live and to teach. The best way to love someone is to help them love themselves.
总结：自爱是最大的礼物---去生活，去教人。爱别人最好的方式就是帮助他们去爱自己。


7. It’s impossible to know exactly how another feels.
不可能知道别人真正的感受。

The hearts and minds of others are mysterious, dense forests, always, no matter how deep into them you venture.
别人的心中和脑中所想都是神秘的，是浓密的森林。无论你多么了解一个人，你都无法真正明白。

Even if you have known a person for a hundred years, it is impossible to know exactly what they are feeling. You can’t feel something for them, or know exactly how their mind is processing something. You could invest every bit of your energy over the course of your entire life in an attempt to achieve this understanding, but in the end you will fall short.
即使你认识这个人一百年了，也不可能完全知道他们的感受。你无法代替他们去感受，或是知道他们脑海中到底在想些什么。你可以穷尽一生的力量来达到这个地步，但最终你还是会失败。

Even if you have known a person for a hundred years, it is impossible to know exactly what they are feeling. You can’t feel something for them, or know exactly how their mind is processing something. You could invest every bit of your energy over the course of your entire life in an attempt to achieve this understanding, but in the end you will fall short.
  你可以做的就是和那些倾听你，支持你和无条件爱你的人做朋友。这样你才能在那一瞬间，得以瞥见他们的灵魂。


8. Connecting with your purpose brings great results.
有的放矢能带来好结果。

Don’t allow others to convince your heart what to do. Your heart already knows. Listen to it. Don’t let anyone else distinguish what is right or wrong for you. You’ve got to stand up for something specific, on your own two legs, or you will achieve nothing great in life.
别让别人说服你该去干什么。你的心早有答案。跟随自己的心。别让其他人替你判别孰是孰非。你必须用自己两条腿站起来，为了心中所想的那件特定的事努力，否则一辈子都会一事无成。

Within you there is a formidable and undeniable sense of purpose. Success comes from making a solid and persistent connection to that purpose. When your intentions are supported by a ‘why’ that has meaning, you will find a way to bring them to life. Getting anything done is a matter of continuing to remember why you have chosen to do this thing in the first place.
你需要有一种深不可测无法衡量的目标感。只有紧紧地抓住和坚持那个目标，成功才会到来。当你的意图都被赋予了有意义的“为什么”，那么你就真的能实现一个个的目标了。做好每件事能让你始终记住到底为什么一开始选择做这件事。

In the end, focused and persistent effort always brings great achievement. When your efforts are driven by your purpose, you can keep these efforts going for as long as it takes to reach this achievement.
最后，坚持不懈地努力能带来最好的回报。当你的努力由目标驱使，你就可以向着这个目标不断地前进努力。


9. A positive vision makes a big difference.
积极的想象会产生大影响。

Don’t just see things the way they are. Envision yourself in the place you want to be, skillfully doing what you are capable of doing. Envision yourself in this place living the life you desire. Allow yourself to dream in full color, and know with certainty, that this dream is achievable if you want it to be.
别一成不变地看待问题。想象自己身处梦想之中，做那些你有能力做的事情。想象自己过着一直盼望的生活。允许自己做个多彩的梦，要坚信，只要你坚持，梦想就能成真。

Envision the things you desire as being achievable and they will be. Envision yourself doing what your need to do, operating at your very best, and then hold that image firmly in your mind, day after day, moment by moment, as you step boldly in the direction of your vision.
想象你想做的每件事都是可达到的，并最终会达到。想象自己做那些你需要做的事情，并且做到最好，在脑海中不断地去想象，日复一日，分分秒秒，这样你就能紧紧的抓住自己的梦想。

Give this vision all you’ve got, mentally and physically, and you’ll be amazed at the energy and excellence that comes out of you in the long run.
拼尽全力去为了这个目标努力吧。你最终肯定会感叹自己原来能释放这么多的能量和智慧。


10. Your journey is ultimately what you make of it.
路是你自己走出来的。

There’s no such thing as perfect happiness, just as there’s no such thing as perfect despair. What does exist is a continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities for you to interpret them and do with them as you please.
没有什么完美的幸福，就像没有什么绝对的失望一样。真正存在的是那些一连串连续的不完美的瞬间，夹杂着无限的可能性和机会，等着你去实现。

You can pave the road you travel with doubt and despair or hope and happiness. It’s your choice. Either way, you will eventually arrive at the same destination. The only question is: Do you want to arrive there with a frown or a smile?
你的道路可以带有怀疑，失望抑或希望和幸福。这是你的选择，无论选择哪条路，最后都会到达同一个目的地。唯一的问题在于，你是想沮丧地到达还是微笑着到达呢？

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